Sweet Sixteen (from my Facebook page)

Lisa Abraham tagged me on the 16 Random Things deal. I read Andrea Zuercher's list and enjoyed it. She's a good writer but then again that Zuercher bunch were a fairly smart lot if memory serves. I saw where she tagged Lisa so in an strangely omniscient way I saw this coming. Omniscientness is cool like that, you just seem to know everything. I may ask Santa to be ubiquitous for my Christmas present. Ubiquitous and omniscient, that'd be cool, except for the fact people would always be asking you stuff but you'd kind of know that going in.

Anyway here areThe Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 16 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 16 people to be tagged.

These type of chain letter deals have a 100% death rate with me, except for this one. If I was good in math I'd calculate the new percentage based on my completion of this task.

I'm not, so I won't (DARN, not good in math could have been one of my sixteen. Now I have to come up with something else. Grrrrrrrrr.)

1. I really only have two gears in my life, full on all out and stop. Therefore I don't see many shades of gray. It's mostly black and white for me. (Could I have counted that as two, DARN, DARN, DARN, I keep shooting myself in the foot here.)

2. My wife and family are my treasure. Though it would not be easy, if I lost everything else but had Lisa and the children I'd be OK. The flip side would definitely not be true.

3. I'm sarcastic.

4. I'm PRO ABORTION, hang with me here. Think about it, you've got a fifteen year old kid who's giving you problems, why not abort them. Is your 56 year old son not being loving to his mother? Again, it could be they need to be aborted. I'm 44 and I better do right or my mother may call in an abortion on me. Oh, wait, that would be murder wouldn't it? I'm not pro murder. See number three above.

5. I believe many of the problems in our country today stem from a loss of personal responsibility. My personal credo is: You are the captain of your own ship.

6. I've had a ton of fun on Facebook. It's kind of like that episode of Seinfeld where no one wanted to admit they watched Melrose Place.

7. I enjoy music of all genres. I'd have to check to give you an exact number but I have about 11,174 songs on my ipod. ( My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, Good time Charlie's got the blues and Thunder Island by Jay Ferguson are among the selections.)

8. I like to read but not necessarily to better myself although I am not against self betterment in principle or practice.

9. I wish I had a newspaper column and a syndicated radio commentary and could get paid for it. It wouldn't have to be a full time job but just for fun with any earnings as kind of found money. Paul Newman gave all the proceeds from his Newman's Own line of foods to chairty but he was Cool Hand Luke. I'm no Cool Hand Luke, just a 44 year old bald guy.

10. I rarely fart and when I do they aren't smelly, well most of the time. Once I had a particularly bad case of the SBD's (silent but deadly) and I went to Walmart on a Saturday when it is crowded with people. I'd wade in to the masses and release a bomb then retreat to the end of the aisle an watch their faces. It was hilarious to me. I think that could be a TV show. Lisa didn't see the humor in it. You may have heard the saying, two people are in an elevator, one farts but they both know who did it.

11. I wish I would have been more mature as a kid. I also wish I'd have been kinder and a better friend. I'm more mature now but not so much that I can't enjoy a good round of farting in Walmart.

12. I notice people's hands. It's not a weird thing like a hand fetish type deal. It's just that hands can tell a lot about people. Do they work outside, are they meticulous or nervous? I will say Lisa has pretty hands and naturally beautiful nails and, never mind, I don't want to get too far off into the weeds here.

13. In my spare time I serve as the Public Address announcer for Eastern Kentucky University men's football and basketball. I have done so for nearly twenty years.

14. I'd like to work at Disney World after I retire from full time work. I could drive a bus or work in the Hall of Presidents or whatever but I think it would be fun. I'd love to be a character but I bet they wouldn't let an old retired guy wear one of the costumes. Maybe I can just buy a costume and wear it around for fun.

15. I looked at the GQ cover photos of Jennifer Aniston. She's certainly, uh, well, uh, photogenic.

16. I have a funny ability to meet people and remember a good amount of detailed information about them. If you don't believe me ask Marsha McGeorge Myers. I remember her lines from her kindergarten graduation. I remember when Lisa Abraham told me she was adopted. We were at the skating rink out past Harlan. I had on a blue crew neck sweater. She said maybe some day she'd like to locate her adoptive parents but was in no rush. I'm starting to feel like The Rain Man, "yeah, yeah, definitely fish sticks on Friday."

16a. I'm sorry that this list is over, I could go on for quite some time.

RL