Stuff I'll never do.

A couple of nights ago I watched the movie Into the Wild. The movie is based on the travels of Emory University grad Christopher McCandless. After graduating from college McCandless donated the balance of his college fund to charity and began a backpacking adventure across the county.

His ultimate destination was Alaska. McCandless wanted to abandon the trappings of modern society and get back to things that are real. In the end it was just him and the great wide open.

I’m not endorsing everything he did but I admired the fact that he followed his dreams. To have a desire and go after it no matter how it may look to others and no matter what the personal cost is a pretty cool thing indeed. That’s a driven person. That is inspiring, that’s strong.

I suppose we all have dreams like Christopher McCandless. Maybe it is as summer in Europe or a week long raft trip through the Grand Canyon. Whatever it is we all have our list of stuff we’d like to do.
I have a list too. Sometimes I see myself riding off into the sunset to nowhere in particular or spending a week hiking in the mountains. Phrases like “leave of absence,” come to mind when I think of my list. I’d like to hike the Appalachian Trail and I want to visit every ball park in the Major Leagues.

Nothing on my list is earth shattering or life changing really. It’s just stuff. The thing is I’m never going to do most of the stuff on my list. I honestly believe I could make a list of 100 things I think about, things that exist only in my dreams but I am never going to do.

So then that’s going to be my list. 100 things I think about doing but will never actually do. I already know number one on the list. The very first thing is the fact that I’ll never finish the list. There’s simply no way I can stay with it long enough to come up with 100.

I’m starting with number two; the second thing on the list, that’s where I’ll begin.

2. I’ll never buy a motorcycle and cruise the back roads and meet unusual and
interesting people and photograph and write about the places I go and see. I’m never going to do that. It sounds cool though and the BMW R1200 GS (http://www.bmwmotorcycles.com/bikes/index.jsp) would be the perfect bike with which to see the countryside.

3. I always wanted to spend a summer as a beer vendor at a minor league baseball park. It would be cool to work the stands. Sometimes it’d be just me and the staunch die hards on lone summer nights. I’d be hawking cold ones to the real baseball fans. They’re there keeping score and eating peanuts from the shell. I’m hustling beers right alongside the boys of summer. That’s the REAL baseball, that’s the American pastime.

In the minors the players play for the love of the game. I think that would be a great summer. I can hear the crack of the bat and feel the peanut shells crunching underfoot. I can practically smell the stale beer and hear the leather as the third baseman shows why they call it the hot corner. To me that’s a dream. That’s as far as I go because that is number three on the list of things I’m never going to do.

4. I’m never going to learn to play guitar. I have some marginal musical ability. I actually OWN a guitar. I do not however, own the patience to learn or the will to practice. It’s too bad because it would fun for a family sing-along and camp outs and who knows what else. Learning to play guitar would be a good thing. Too bad it is on the list. Maybe someday it can come off the list. I suppose there is always hope.

5. I’d like to have a Corvette. Lots of guys my age get in a mid-life crisis and need a red sports car to prove they’re still cool and that they’re still alive. I don’t need a red sports car. A blue Vette or maybey a silver one or even white would work just fine. In reality for me a Corvette is simply not practical. I have kids to haul and a dog and a daughter who’ll be sixteen in a couple months so a Corvette is WAY out of the question. It is just another thing I’m never going to do.

6. I’m never going to learn to paint like the late Bob Ross on PBS. I can watch episode after episode of Ross’ The Joy of Painting but that’s all the joy I’m going to get. Is it just me or do you think he’s ruined a perfectly good painting when he drops a big pine tree right in the front part of one of his works? The tree turns out to be just what the painting needed. Bob can work magic on the canvas. He’s really good at making mountains with that knife and it amazes me every time he makes the reflection in water. WOW. I’ll never even attempt to paint like Bob.

7. I believe in the strength of the dove tail joint and I recognize the value of biscuit joinery, it just gives you so much glue space, but I’m no Norm Abrahm from the New Yankee Workshop. Norm can make a jig for almost anything. But he can’t make a jig that would help me do woodworking. I wish he could. I know he’d finish it off with a nice oak stain and three coats of polyurethane. Norm could do it if anyone could but don’t hold your breath waiting on me to make you a coffee table.

8. I love the outdoors. I enjoy seeing wildlife. When the weather permits Lisa and the children and I love to hike the trails here in southeastern Kentucky. I rented A River Runs Through It and was enamored with the scenery and fly fishing and the fellowship of a father and his sons. I tried my old neighbors fly rig and I’m, uh, well, I’m never going to fly fish. I’d like to but I’m betting against me ever following through.

9. I’m never going to finish this list. I don’t think I’m lazy. I got this far. That took some work. That deserves some credit. I thought up a list filled with stuff I’ll never do. Some things are on the list because they’re not practical. Some things are doable but I lack the ability. But I have my list. That’s something, right?

RL